One tiny rebellion at a time.
Every Tuesday from the Autumn Equinox to the Winter Solstice, we’ll be sharing one part.
For the women who are tired of overthinking, people-pleasing, performing, and putting themselves last.
For the women ready to build a life that actually feels like their own.
13 Tiny Rebellions Against Abandoning Yourself
Take Yourself Seriously
Stop Making Everything a Group Project
Make Plans With Yourself
Build a Life You Don't Need to Escape From
Get Comfortable Disappointing People
Have Opinions Again
Protect Your Peace Like It's Expensive
Do Things You're Bad At
Make Your Inner World Bigger
Choose Yourself in the Small Moments
Stop Explaining Yourself to Death
Become a Person You'd Be Excited to Meet
Stop Waiting for Permission
01: TAKE YOURSELF SERIOUSLY.
Start taking your own feelings seriously.
Not every feeling needs to be justified.
Not every boundary needs a courtroom defense.
Not every “no” needs a paragraph afterward.
You are allowed to trust your own experience.
This is step one.
Take yourself seriously.
02: STOP MAKING EVERYTHING A GROUP PROJECT.
You do not need everyone else’s opinion before you decide what you want.
If you’re used to making decisions based on what will keep everyone else comfortable, it can take some practice to trust your own preferences.
You are allowed to want something because it matters to you. You are allowed to change your mind when something no longer feels right. You are allowed to make a choice that someone else does not understand.
That is not selfish. That is self-trust.
Your tiny rebellion: make one decision this week without asking anyone else what they think.
What would you choose if nobody else got a vote?
03: MAKE PLANS WITH YOURSELF.
Stop waiting for someone else to make your life feel worth showing up for.
People-pleasing can make your own wants feel strangely optional. You keep waiting for the right person, the right plans, the right amount of energy, or some future version of yourself who finally feels confident enough to enjoy her life.
Take yourself out anyway.
Go to the beach. Get the coffee. Wander the plant shop. Sit in the museum. Take yourself to dinner. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb and let yourself exist without performing for anyone.
You are allowed to build a life you actually want to participate in.
Your life is happening now.
04: BUILD A LIFE YOU DON'T NEED TO ESCAPE FROM
Romanticize your actual life. Taking a mindful moment doesn’t have to cost time or money during stressful times.
Put cut flowers/branches on the table.
Make a weird little recipe from stuff you already have.
Light the candle you've been “saving.”
Rearrange your bedroom.
Sit outside and ponder.
Take the scenic way home.
We’re not after perfection, just authenticity.
Build a life you don't need to escape from.
05: GET COMFORTABLE DISAPPOINTING PEOPLE
A surprisingly powerful form of self-respect: Letting someone be disappointed. You don't have to fix it, explain it, overcompensate for it, or immediately change your mind. Someone being unhappy with your boundary doesn't automatically mean your boundary was wrong.
Try riding the wave:
Riding the Wave is a distress tolerance technique from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that helps people experience intense emotions, urges, and uncomfortable thoughts without immediately reacting to them.
The central idea is that emotions are like waves: they build, peak, and eventually subside. Rather than fighting the emotion, avoiding it, or acting impulsively to make it disappear, you learn to observe it and allow it to pass.
Notice the wave
Anchor yourself in the present using grounding technique
Allow the emotion to rise
Stay with the wave as it peaks
Notice the wave change
Let the discomfort exist.
06: HAVE OPINIONS AGAIN
Remember when you had opinions, before you started asking everyone else what they thought?
People-pleasing can make you so focused on keeping the peace that you lose touch with your own preferences. You get good at reading the room and adjusting yourself to fit in.
Let's get curious again.
What music do you actually like?
What do you want your home to feel like?
What do you believe?
What are you curious about?
What gives you the ick?
What makes you feel alive?
You don't need to be universally agreeable. You can respect other perspectives without abandoning your own.
Your tiny rebellion: Stop polling the room. Pick the music, voice your opinion, wear the outfit, or pursue the interest. Let yourself like what you like without needing anyone else's approval.
Develop a point of view.
07: PROTECT YOUR PEACE LIKE IT'S EXPENSIVE
Not everything deserves access to you.
You don't have to answer immediately.
You don't have to attend everything.
You don't have to explain your absence.
You don't have to stay available 24/7.
Protecting your peace looks incredibly boring.
That's kind of the point.
For some peace might look quiet, for others solo dance parties in your room works.
Protecting your peace doesn’t have to be this big sweeping action. It looks more like unanswered texts, cancelled plans, an early bedtime, and dancing alone in your living room.
You are allowed to have limits. You're allowed to change your mind. And you're allowed to stop making yourself available at the expense of your own well-being.
Not everyone will understand your boundaries. That's okay.
A tiny rebellion against self-abandonment: make yourself a little less available.
What does protecting your peace look like for you?
08: DO THINGS YOU'RE BAD AT
When did being enough become something you had to earn?
Try using these affirmations when trying something new:
I refuse to let being inexperienced keep me small.
I can be awkward, uncertain, and still show up.
I am here to experience life, not perform it perfectly.
Learn the instrument badly. Try yoga and wobble. Paint something ugly. Garden. Dance badly in your kitchen.
You don't have to be good at something for it to be worth trying.
A little reminder to stop treating your life like an endless audition.